Week 3 Story: Trisha and the Lobsters
Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, Trisha, the queen lobster of Atlantis, longed to find her king. Her parents kept telling her that her time would come, and that they had arranged for all of the strongest lobsters to compete for her heart. As the day came closer, Trisha became worried that her true love would not be among those lobsters.
"But what if I do not love him, mother? What if none of them are my king?" asked Trisha with fear in her eyes.
"My girl, the right man will prove himself to you. You need a strong king who must prove his worth." replied her mother.
On the anticipated day, all of the most esteemed lobster nobles, warriors, and monarchs gather around the kingdom of Atlantis, ready to fight for the most beautiful lobster in all of the ocean. The main competition that would prove which lobster was the strongest was the lifting of the conch shell. The conch sparkled in all of its beauty, laying there at the bottoms of the ocean. It was as large as even the largest of lobsters. The conch represented so much more than just a heavy object. The conch shell was the most sacred object to the lobster community. Wars had been fought over it. It represented strength, beauty, nobility, and royalty. Therefore it was only fitting that the true king should be able to lift the heavy conch. As the lobsters lined up one by one to lift the conch, Trisha became very worried. One after another they failed.
"Father I will never find my king!" she shrieked as they failed.
"Patience, my dear daughter, he is here." her father replied calmly.
And that's when she saw him. Price Larry the lobster stepped up to the conch and lifted it with ease. It was as if his whole life had been leading up that moment. He did not strain, he did not break a sweat. In fact, the smile never left his lips. His shell and claws glimmered like the conch shell. She had found him. Larry was her king.
Authors Note: This story is based off of the story Rama Wins Sita from Ramayana, The Epic of India, Prince of India, condensed into English verse by Romesh Dutt (1899). The original story tells the story of home many men came to compete for Sita's heart and Rama won by bending the historic and lavish bow. I took that story and used the same plot, however I changed the characters and setting by making it pertain to the animal kingdom. I used lobsters instead of people and changed the bow to a conch shell. I practically just retold the exact same storied but used the animal perspective.
Hi Carly! I will start by saying I love reading and telling stories about animals, so it was cool to read this adaptation about lobsters! Lobsters are also a unique choice; I see lots of cat, dog, tiger, etc stories, and I sometimes write about the OU mascot horses myself. Just out of curiosity, why did you not include the part of the original story where Sita is able to lift the bow all by herself? Did you want Trisha to be a more "mortal" character than the super-strong Sita? Finally, I might suggest adding some more details about the setting for this lobster world; I think that would help readers really dive into the animal adaptation you have crafted. For example, you might describe the coral or other sea creatures swimming around, or you could write about the kinds of lobster-specific clothing the noble lobsters wear! I like that you changed the bow to a conch, so more details like that would be cool!
ReplyDeleteHi Carly! You did a great job with this story. During this week I took notes on Sita and I knew exactly what story you were telling when I first started reading! When I read a story I like to envision it, kind of like a movie in my head. I would suggest maybe some more scenery detail or small details that would help support the story and help readers envision what they are reading. I really enjoyed reading your story and can't wait to read what you have next!
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